In recent years, it has become a tradition to hold two semi-final games of the Murmansk KVN League in mid-October in one evening. This time, the jury evaluated the sense of humor and artistry of ten teams from the Murmansk region, Moscow and St. Petersburg, who competed in “Salute” and “Improvisation Competition” in two rounds.
Bet on Zaozersk
“Team Zaozersk” in its seventh game did not appear in the best humorous form. Maybe because the mayor forbade them to joke about how bad everything is in Zaozersk and came to the game to help. It’s a joke, but not the funniest. The audience was much more amused by the skateboarder who suddenly appeared on the stage in a overalls and skufi. It turned out that this is a future resident of the Orthodox sports center, who still trains where he can. The best miniature of the Lakers was also related to sports. Internet moviegoers, fed up with the bookie’s intrusive advertising, took revenge on its employee by shouting advertising slogans in his face when he was at the cinema.
The second team – “The Doppler effect” – was announced by the host German Ivanov as a team with a non-standard approach to humor. This was expressed only in the already standard female role of Dmitry Pol, an avid KVN officer, who this time parodied Renata Litvinova and proclaimed herself “Miss Murmansk-2020, 2021, 2022”. The entire performance rested on his jokes about German Ivanov and lines for men and women such as “Measure seven times, there will be no more”, “They welcome you by your clothes, send you to a taxi”, “If you want, give flowers and candy, girls, go work for the school and don’t wait for the prince.” The only really funny joke told by Dmitri’s teammates was about a Russian teacher in a sex shop who pointed out to the salesperson an error in the price tags: “Glass,” “wood,” and ” tin” are spelled with two “n’s”.
Your man on the jury
The team of the 35th Shipyard “Different People” came on stage in unusual costumes, but with tools in their hands. The captain of the team, Alexander Makarov, explained that different people work at the plant, and ordinary hard workers imagine those who are preparing for KVN while working in three shifts, that’s right – in uncomfortable outfits of all colors of the rainbow. Only the miner who came out of nowhere in the factory stood in a simple robe and held a huge bolt with a stern look.
– Where do you put it? – he answered the captain’s question: “Why are you holding him?”.
– In the Rodina cinema, for example – Alexander was not surprised.
“Different people” found an original way to reach the final by adding the director of their plant to the jury. A chair and a table were placed for him next to the jury table, on which a bottle of beer and a mug immediately appeared, because otherwise it is impossible to watch Murmansk KVN.
“Sproti” from “Hatta”
The UFSIN “Sprats” team has been in KVN for almost 10 years, but appeared in the semi-finals in a new composition. Under the song “I want to break free” (“I want to break free”) of the group “Queen”, all the men of the team came out in full clothes, led by a colleague in the person of Freddie Mercury. The choice of composition is not accidental. Freddy organizes an interactive session with the audience in the best traditions of the legendary rock band. “This is how the head of the correctional colony conducts a roll call,” law enforcement officials explained the behavior of their colleague.
Despite the fact that the favorite program for Ufsinov’s wards is not KVN, but a stick of sausage, ZeKa-TV, which operates under the motto: “Sit and see”, is popular in correctional colonies. The audience most liked the analogue of the program “What? Where? When?” titled “What? Where? To whom?”. Instead of a black box, the connoisseurs-convicts were given black bread with the question: “What’s in black bread”? The answer followed tentatively: “In black bread – black chess pieces.”
The audience was moved to tears by the TikTok video “Khat”. Under popular songs, officers of the Federal Penitentiary Service conducted searches of prisoners and other routine activities that took on a completely different meaning. The icing on the cake was the release of the prisoner from the colony to the famous song of the group “Disco Crash” with the words: “If you want to stay, just stay.”
The “Sprats” managed to prove themselves not only during “Cheers”, but also in the improvisation competition. One of the employees of the Federal Service for the Execution of Punishments, in the role of a waiter, recited a full-fledged poem dedicated to the member of the jury Larisa Kruglova.
Adhering to the principle “In every joke there is a share of the joke”, the team “I am so much more NeMagu” from the leading university of the Murmansk region included in their speech an act of extras about the merger of MSTU and MAGU. It ended with the exclamation of a student from the Murmansk Civil Engineering College “And this university will be named after Momot!”. And four girls in pink dresses continued to mock the quality of education. In one of the thumbnails, the girl’s birthday present was a stripper who did not look sexy at all, because, as it turned out, he was supposed to become a tourism manager, but did not find a job in his specialty.
A surprise for regular visitors of KVN in Murmansk was the triumphant return to the stage of the legendary “Murmansk Team” in branded white and red sweaters. When one of the Moscow State University students distracted German Ivanov and took him backstage, another took the presenter’s place and found a button on his chair to call masseurs. The “three from the ark” jumped to the false leader, but immediately recognized the impostor and refused to massage his shoulders.
MOE is not what you think
Young people from the team of the Ministry of Emergencies of Russia in the Murmansk region “Rescuers are different” admitted that they often miss work shifts due to preparations for KVN games, so they have to earn extra money as strippers. It seems that this way of earning money is most popular among the cheerful and inventive Murmansk, although none of them are distinguished by ideal proportions of the body and muscles.
Employees of the Ministry of Emergency Situations dedicated several jokes to topical questions that many residents of Murmansk have been asking lately. For example, they tried to organize a roll call with the audience, shouting “Work” in response to the phrase “Hot stops”, but something went wrong, as well as with the stops themselves. Another joke in the same series was about road workers. For a long time, they could not find a section of the street that needed repair, and, waving their arms, decided to replace the asphalt right where they were standing. The performance of the rescuers ended with a statement that a new decoding of the abbreviation of the Ministry of Emergency Situations appeared in Murmansk! Now it’s Morar, Chibis and Serdechkin.
KVN by candles
Employees of the Kola NPP from Polar Dawn charged the residents of Murmansk with the energy of a peaceful atom from the first seconds, performing a dance of the absurd in multi-colored overalls. Then they explained why there is no monument to Lenin in Polar Dawn. It turns out that he was once in the city, but left the pedestal after the start of the nuclear power plant. Discussing the latest news, the energy workers laughed at the closure of the border with Finland: “So be it! What to do in a country where there is no electricity? The immediate future of the team was predetermined by the last joke: “If we do not reach the final, then it will be the most romantic in the history of KVN, because it will be held by candlelight.” At the beginning of December, we will see if the Energetics will keep their word, since they did not reach the finals of the KVN regional league. Teams “Different People”, “Doppler Effect”, “I’m Not Dealing With MAGU Anymore”, “Koprili” and “Rescuers Are Different”, who won in the semi-finals, as well as the teams “Team Zaozersk” and “Great to be” will fight for the title of the best, with which the jury members decided to complete the list of finalists.
On November 12, the Murmansk Regional League of KVN will for the first time hold the Cup of the Governor of the Murmansk Region among the famous teams of the TV leagues of the International Union of KVN. Compete in the brilliance of humor on the stage of the Palace of Culture and Folk Art. S. M. Kirov will be the teams “Russian Path” from Armavir, “Bortsi”. Northern landing” from Surgut, “Arctic” from Murmansk and “KVN team named after Yankovsky”, consisting of Murmansk and Rostov.
Photo: Igor Eremenko